Guilt overridden by Mercy

"If the devil had his way we would be dead. He had plans to make us lose our mind, jump off a bridge, take us out. The good news is, God sent the angel of Mercy and he said, “NO!” I could have just called this blog guilt and found no good this situation. Or I could attempt to find good out of it. Let me explain. A church member & friend wanted a motorcycle so bad because he's seen me and my little group riding all the time. I convinced him to get a bike, I said to his wife, "its just a bike." Told him all the benefits of having a bike. His wife pleaded with me not to encourage him, that he didn't need a bike, he is going to be a father for the first time (she's 5 mos pregnant)and he should put away such fantasies. Well to my surprise he got a bike. He was determined that nothing was going to keep him from riding, we were high five'ng and cheering and planing some rides, the excitement could not be contained.

Then everything changed. This past Saturday, he road his bike to the church for our meeting, after the meeting he asked me to ride with him. I told him, I was way too tired and did not have any jeans or my boots, so I was going home to rest and would catch up with him later. I even negotiated with myself that I could go buy some jeans, but my husband was in Flint and would be mad if something happened while he was away. I even received a missed call from him, maybe calling to see if I was still going to catch up. Then the worst happened, he was tragically killed while riding. Lost control and was hit by a car. I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE WITH HIM! That's when the guilt hit me and became so overwhelming it almost took me out. I started all the what if's and thought about his wife how she would blame me for this tragedy. Telling myself, it was all my fault. How if I had not encouraged him maybe this would not have happened. I begin to remember hugging him telling him to be careful, all of the last minutes I spent with him. Thinking what is to become of our college tour, his unborn child, his wife, his family. Oh Jesus, I was consumed with guilt truly this was somehow my fault. I cried, threw up, I screamed, my head and heart was pounding so hard about to explode! I still have a headache as I write this blog. I just made myself sick with grief. Sunday, service had to be one of the saddest things I could have sat through. I barely made it to church just to have this guilt over my head. My Pastor pleaded with the bikers to think of our families before we ride. I said, "God you keep saving a sparing me from so many things, why? Am I doing what you are saving me for?" I prayed that God would just talk to me. My heart was so heavy with the what if's I could not see the Grace & MERCY. Pastor preached the 23rd Psalms, God begin removing the guilt from me. Psalms 23:6 states "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."

I begin to realize no matter how bad the situation is, that it could be worse? I could have been there and was hurt or killed myself. That if God wanted me there I would have been there, but that was not his will. Do you know how many tragic accidents we have missed or how many bullets, missed their mark? Think about how much we thought he or she was the right mate, but God didn’t let it happen. There are demonic assignments that have been released from the pit of hell against us. God’s grace and mercy shields us from seeing the attacks all around us. Do you know we even receive mercy for things we did wrong? Think about the things we got away with. Grace & Mercy says, “NO!” Thank God for Grace & Mercy. When we come under attack of the devil, and need help the most. “It is because of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, His compassion never fails. They are new to us each day.” says Lamenations 3:22. He sits on the Mercy Seat of love and forgiveness.

God is still working on us. Therefore, let us “Judge not that ye be not judged.” The more merciful you are to others, the more mercy you’ll get back, “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matthew 5:7.

Have you ever thought about what Mercy looks like? It looks like you, it looks like me. We are wearing grace & mercy, we are walking in grace & mercy, we couldn't pay for it. But because God loves us so much, do you hear me? He LOVES US SO MUCH he freely gives us grace & mercy. My friend may have had something that he prayed for that none of us will ever know, but I do know he is in God's hands, without the cares of the world. I can not say that my flesh is not hurting that would be a lie. I am in terrible pain because of this, but I know God doesn't make any mistakes, and when he calls our name we have to answer. I loved this brother and I will miss his spirit and his flesh but God loved him and needed him more. So as I continue to pray that God will strengthen all of us who are effected by this painful tragedy and that he will send his comforter to comfort, his angels to stand guard, do not forget that when someone is taken out of this world, their spirits are never far from us. So instead of guilt, I remembered all the good things about him, being happy, laughing, roller skating on the college tour, dancing to "flash light" putting his trust in me, working me like a hostage, allowing me to bless him and receiving his blessings as well. Focus on the good, try not to let guilt sneak in and try to take you out. God may ask you, "are you attempting to give some of that mercy and grace that is so freely given to you to others? Well are you?

Being the Change

I started thinking how I have not written in a while. With work, family and commitments I have just really been unusually busy. I sat down to share some of my time not realizing God was getting ready to use me. We never know when and how God will use us to bless someone and how fortunate we are that God uses us to be the messenger. Well I say all of that to say this. No matter how busy we get we must take the time to bless someone with words from our mouths. Here's what happened.

I was meeting with one of the leaders of our Married Couples Ministry discussing our upcoming workshop. I begin discussing how I was working on my poetry cd, yes with music, being produced by one of the most gifted musicians I know. I didn't go into details but I expressed how I LOVE poetry with all my heart and that using words to cre8te, uplift, empower and encourage is my GIFT.....truly I am blessed! I started reading just a few poems and even a short story or two and I could see that the busyness that she had displayed prior to, calmed her completely down. I continued to find more and more and before I knew what happened we were 30 minutes into poetry. I had gotton so carried away we even shed a tear or two.

Then thats when it came out....God's plan....She told me because of some of the things she was going through I had really helped her to feel much better, and all the drama didnt seem so important. How she could stay with me for hours even when I kept saying "ok, one more for real this time." Yes, I was a blessing to her because of my words. Then God spoke to me, It's In Your Mouth! Your breakthrough is in your mouth! How God gives you power in your "word life" - its the words that are being released out of your mouth to other people. The Holy Bible states:

"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook." (Proverbs 18:4) "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21)

God has given us power residing in our mouth and in our tongues with the words that we release to other people. With this kind of power residing in our ability to release spoken words to other people, we can either bring life or death to the person that we are speaking to. Think of the responsibilities and the ramifications of this revelation - that our spoken words to other people can either bring them life or bring them death, whew what a difference we can make!

Think about it you can either choose to speak and release positive words of love, encouragement and edification to other people, or you can choose to release negative words of condemnation, criticism, coldness and harshness. The choice is yours!

You can prophesy your own destruction, you can declare that you will live and not die. You can declare that health is yours. Prosperity is yours. Joy is yours. You can prophesy that your marriage will work. You will get that job. You will get whatever God has in store for you. No devil in hell can stop it. God said it, so declare it. Your victory is in your mouth.

God's word says that whatever things we ask for whenwe pray, we should believe that we will receive them. Tell God that you believe in his word because HIS word is true. Boldly declare that you will have all that God has for you, that your situation will turn around, your outlook is bright, and you will live and not die. Your future is bright because you trust in God. Decide to speak words of encouragement and share your gifts with someone else, you will be surprised at the blessing given to you and to them. By using healthy words you to can be the change you want to see! Try it. I did.